I am not a Hipster

While wandering around downtown in the now incredibly hip 3rd and 3rd district, I had 3 moments of deep realization. 1) I am not a hipster, 2) I am old and 3) I don't give a damn about not being 'in the scene' anymore. I will expand on each point below.

1) I am not a hipster: Despite what Marcela and others may think, I am not a hipster. I wear black t-shirts almost exclusively - been doing that since 2001 and it has nothing to do with being cool or trendy or poety. It has everything to do with 10 years of worrying about what cool t-shirt I should wear each day so that I could be cool, unique, ironic or funny and not wanting the stress of worrying about something as trivial as a torso covering anymore. Black was is a color that looks good on me, though not as good as blue as many people have taken care to point out, it doesn't show dirt, I can get them for dirt cheap through various changing outlets, and I feel anonymous, yet comfortable in what I am wearing. I have confidence in my simplicity and torso comfort. I can grab whatever shirt is on top of the clean pile and call it good. However, that was old hipster. New hipsters wear skinny jeans, shirts made from ridiculously thin material that are brand new, look well worn and cost $30+ dollars, ironic yet stylish neon Rayban knockoff sunglasses, wool caps during the summer, greasy, nappy messed up hair and mustaches. Everything about the hipster style is completely impractical and feeds the corporate nation which they think they are subverting (but that is a post for another time).

Secondly, I ride a fixed-gear or fixie bicycle. Allow me to defend this one. While an avid cyclist since 1997 (though riding off and on long before then) I have been using a bicycle to commute since 2005 and have been volunteering at the Salt Lake City Bicycle Collective since 2007. I was (and this next sentence is an unbelievable stereotypical defense of one's status as an innovator) riding and talking about and fixing bicycles before any of these purple rimmed jokesters even considered a bike as a mode of transportation. In fact, one such (teal rimmed) hipster, not a year earlier told me I was stupid for riding my bike to work because I would get sweaty and it took so long to get there etc etc etc. Now he is riding a bicycle and telling me about critical mass and how he isn't a cager because cagers suck (I also would like to write about that mentality later on. Remind me.) and how I should get such and such toe straps because they provide so much power to the pedals (I'm not going to repeat the brand because they are of 1930's design and totally silly and I don't want anyone else to be burdened with non-functioning toe straps when clipless pedals are by far the most efficient form of shoe to pedal to drive train power transfer) etc etc etc.

So I built a fixie in 2007 when building a fixie was a thing of pride because you BUILT a fixie. Even if you chose to ride a track bike, it was a personal thing where you would choose component, customize your frame and build it yourself. These days, kids go to Republic Bike or similar, choose some colors, and get themselves a fixie. Granted this is actually a good way to get a fixie and a bike in general, but it loses the original mystic and raison d'etre of a fixie. "Why do you ride a fixie?" Most hipsters would either say, "It's cool", "It's what the bike messengers ride", or "I don't know". It is the rare person who really understands the beauty and purpose of a fixie. A fixie is for cadence training and it is low maintenance. I can strip and rebuild my fixie in 1.5 hours and have it all cleaned, tuned and lubed. My race cycling has improved immensely since riding a fixie. I am a way better hill climber and I can set a good pace for myself for entire 50 mile rides.

This may all seem like nit-picky differences, but I'm just saying, don't call me a hipster because I ride a fixie, call me a cyclist.

2) I am old: It takes me longer to heal after extremely exhausting workouts. My joints feel just a little bit more tired. I may or may not be losing hair. A lot of this realization comes from 3) below. But just realize that I know I am getting older but it turns out not only do I care, I am relieved that I am older and wiser (truly) and not worried about the trivial things of life such as popularity, fitting in, and conforming to non-conforming groups. I'm proud to be 27 and not wandering around the streets smoking a cigarette as a prop, wearing jeans from Forever 21, and twirling my greasy, bleached hair all the while talking about how evil the Mormon church is or how corporations are ruining the world and everything should be bought locally. Open your eyes.

3) I don't give a damn about not being 'in the scene' anymore: I guess I commented on this a bit in 2), but there is more to say. There was a time when I was proud to be a member of the cyclist elite in SLC. I was proud to volunteer my time to further the cycling cause. No anymore. These days, most of the hardcore originators are still doing their thing, but they spend half their time babysitting youngsters that care only about a) what brand your bike is (not what components, what brand) b) who else rides it and c) where can I get that bag you are wearing?. I do not want to be associated with these kids who see cycling as a fashion accessory. Not cool.

I used to look at really dolled up, good looking people who seemed to know a lot of people and were well known and knew a lot about art, music, the city etc. Turns out most of these people are just regurgitating either Wikipedia, or what their friend told them on Wikipedia. If it isn't fact spewing or complaining about corporations (while valid in their own right, stay tuned for the invalidating moment to come) it is complete idiocy and lack of awareness of their surroundings that comes barfing forth. "Oh hi -person who's name I know and have seen at parties-. What's this store you're working at?"
"I own this store."
"Oh," says the moron who doesn't a) pay attention to people's lives and b) can't put 2 and 2 together that the woman behind the counter, making sales, telling people about her store and when it opened could possibly be the owner. Dirty kids acting like they are mature making decisions for themselves yet the decision they make is to go get drunk, and then have bike races (truthfully overheard once).

So I am done. Don't call me a hipster, don't pity me for being old, and don't look down on me for not conforming to your scene. I've got my own.

p.s. I guess I've hit the breaking point and it's back to the blog for me.